Excerpt from this was supposed to be about something else
"No More Drugs For That Man" -Face Off
Hola Amigos, I know it’s been a while since I rapped at ya but shit’s been crazy down at the car wash where I break into the vacuum machines for quarters. Long story short, I beat the rap. Anyway, let’s get on with it. If you like what you read, please consider subscribing. I’m not allowed within 500 feet of them vacuum machines anymore so, yeah. I’ve fallen on rough times.
Enough of that. This one went completely sideways really fast and became all about something I wasn’t intending on writing about, so come for the whimsical intro and stay for a reckless careening through my mind or whatever.
Enjoy this excerpt:
Famed music producer Steve Albini once said the following when discussing his production style (and this is paraphrased, to put it mildly): “I don’t think it’s appropriate for gynecologists to be interested in vaginas, and following that basic train of thought, I don’t understand why bands that come in to work with me get upset when I tell them I don’t like their music.”
Now, there’s a lot going on here for sure, not the least of which is the dogwhistled anti straight male gynecologist vibe (which, I guess if I were a woman I would not want some leering pervert and his forceps anywhere near my vagina [in a medical setting of course. Whatever you do with leering perverts you wanna have fun with is all good with old dr beexo], though it does bear mentioning that I bet one busy day as a gynecologist would quickly fuck up your interest in vaginas while also engendering a much more clinical and less visceral interest in them, but that’s neither here nor there).
Albini also seems to be implying that he doesn’t understand why someone would be unhappy if you say point blank to their face “I don’t like your music” at the beginning of a collaborative process, which is more than a little heartless, no? People are presumably excited to work with Steve Albini and to be deflated from the jump by a guy that’s a legend has GOTTA make for a rough start, if not a rough session overall.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. I have heard every iteration of “I don’t like your music” under the sun, from the kind (“it’s not my thing but I can tell you guys are good at what you do bc all those kids are out there going crazy”) to the absolutely shitty (“I don’t give a FUCK about you or your stupid shitty band, do you hear me motherfucker? You guys fucking blow, you fucking pussy bitch” and on and on like this) and for the most part, it’s important to keep the following in mind: there are people that like your music, but yo, it’s not gonna be for everyone, so fuck it, this isn’t a big deal at all, OR if there aren’t any people out there who like your music, you just haven’t honed your craft well enough yet. The phrase “word? Just wait, motherfucker” should be on hand for these situations even if you only say it to yourself (which, to be clear, is my recommendation).
Of course there’s the final possibility which is you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, in which case I’m surprised anyone even wastes their time telling you that you’re no good, because being in it for the wrong reasons is gonna weed you out of the game with no outside help at all.
goddamnit. This isn’t what this is supposed to be about but I can’t resist this opportunity to pretend like I know what I’m talking about: basically there are two kinds of rock musicians out there: those who are into it because they love the music and culture and generally just love this shit and there are other people who are into it for myriad reasons I dare not try to enumerate (you can figure out most of them I’m sure).
Some of you may be thinking “but there are also the talented and untalented musicians, doesn’t that count for something?”
Eh, kinda, but, putting aside songwriting, not as much as you may think. Let’s say you’re a really untalented singer, which I have been, but you love the music and you’re a student of the craft or whatever, you’ll be fine. There are no bad voices, there are only people who don’t take the time to figure out how to make their voices work….
That’ll do it for the free excerpt. There’s a lot more where this came from so if you like what you read, hit subscribe for much much more.